Lately I have revisited my ability to overcome any negative thoughts and also how I can control frustration and anger. My husband Gene was an expert at both, whereas negative thoughts, and certainly frustrations, can keep me from sleeping and eating and fulfilling daily functions.

Negative thoughts, frustrations, anger and what these things do to your relationships, make it imperative to find ways of dealing with them. So I searched through my books and found the best reading source to help me, the Dalai Lama.

Basically, the Dalai Lama believes we sabotage ourselves by seeing all of the bad, all of the reasons why something wont work, thus stopping ourselves from looking for solutions.

He says we too often expect the worst, we cling to anger instead of compassion, and we end up frustrated to the point that we really can’t think positively and in good faith.

So how do we reverse this? How do we avoid reaching such frustrations that we lash out, fall back, and use old wounds and prejudices to fuel our fire? He says if we don’t learn to control these feelings, they will become the way we deal with everyday problems.

Of course, meditation and prayer are the main ways to alter your emotions and self-control. But most of us live lives that prohibit us from doing these things every time we need to. So here’s what all of us can do, and he says it works.

“Listen, my friends, in this absurdly crazy world in which we try to function in a positive way, we all carry crosses. Life is truly hard, and when we feel like we continually bat our heads against a brick wall and still can’t make things work for good, the thing we need most is self-control.

“When negativity and frustration begin to creep in, and you start to lose control, you are to extend your lower lip out so it is out farther than your upper lip, then you take a deep breath and begin letting air out slowly. The air you exhale will be warm and as the warm, air hits your upper lip, calmness begins. Do this up to nine times, but usually you don’t need to do it nearly that long.”

I don’t know if it’s the warmth of the air, the concentration being centered on doing this instead of your mounting frustration or just what, but the Dalai Lama says it works.

Now if you see me doing my walking laps in the morning with my lower lip blowing warm air over my upper lip, just smile and know that I’m getting rid of negative thoughts and regaining self control.

Better yet, try it yourself.

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